The wittier witticisms are usually more content specific (and less effective overall in terms of de-escalation), but a good guideline is to figure out what will end the conversation in the shortest amount of time with the fewest back and forth exchanges and the least invasion into your privacy. If you want to go in the direction of witty retorts which can backfire and make you look like you’re in the wrong even when you’re not, consider, “How would you feel if I asked you that?” or “I could tell you the answer, but I don’t think either of us would be very comfortable with the rest of the conversation” or “This seems like the set up for a bad joke.” Other options are, “I’m not comfortable discussing that,” “That’s not an appropriate topic of conversation for this setting,” “Can we discuss something else?” or just an incredulous, “Really?” You can always say, “That’s a personal question,” and leave it at that. The other advantage of the stop and pause response, besides a chance to compose yourself, is that your deep breath gives the other person a chance to reflect and possibly rescind the question.
This is advice columnist stock footage, but it helps to remember that when you’re asked an inappropriate question, the other person is the one who should be embarrassed, not you.
Then, regardless of what happens next, you’re coming from a place of composure and decisiveness rather than from a place of being flustered and embarrassed. This is really true anytime you need to respond to someone and feel caught off guard, but especially when someone has crossed a line, made you uncomfortable or asked something shockingly inappropriate. First and foremost, absolutely always, take a deep breath before you answer. We do not share data with third party vendors.īreathe. Get Jewish Exponent's Newsletter by email and never miss our top stories
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